Funny Marriage Quotes and Wedding Sayings

Funny Marriage quotes and wedding sayings are the best way to celebrate your marriage. Make your or friends marriage to a funny and healthy mood. in my words, is about compatibility and commitment, for whatever reason. For most, it’s for love. For others, fear of loneliness,it is money, to secure an heir,to continue to family line, etc.

Anyway, a marriage to me is a kind of contract between a woman and a man , saying they would support each other ,stay together and work towards the whole in their relationship.Here is some beautiful funny marriage quotes with some images just for your favorite friends.

Best Funny Marriage Quotes Wedding Sayings
Best Funny Marriage Quotes and Wedding Sayings

We have here is the most hilarious and Funny marriage quotes for you. enjoy sharing them when your special friends marriage or dear someone’s marriage function. Have a Great time!

Best Funny Marriage Quotes

Funny marriage quotes

When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always”

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women. -Marion Smith

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. -H.V. Prochnow

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” -Groucho Marx

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” -Rodney Dangerfield

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.-Ralph Waldo Emerson

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.-Rodney Dangerfield

Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.-Maryon Pearson

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper

perfect marriage couple - funny marriage quotes
perfect marriage couple – funny marriage quotes

Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too.-H.L. Mencken

You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!! – Bill Maher

Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn’t. -Unknown

Funny Marriage Quotes (2)
Inspirational funny marriage quotes

They say love is blind…and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet. -Mae West

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together. – James H. Boren

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. -Simone Signoret

To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.- E.W. Howe

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Romantic funny marriage quotes

Inspirational Funny marriage quotes

A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries. – anonymous

Woke up in bed with a gorgeous woman, who I’m going to have lunch and the rest of my life with. – Jason Barmer

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. -Judith Viorst

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?- Barbra Streisand

Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage. – Finnish Proverb

A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous. – Ingrid Bergmen

Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. – Mark Twain

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.- Benjamin Franklin

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. – Robert Anderson, Solitaire & Double Solitaire

Funny Marriage Quotes (12)
Marriage marks the end of a love story and the start of a wrestling match – funny marriage quotes

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. – Martin Luther

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. -Michel de Montaigne

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. -Bill Cosby

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person. – Mignon McLaughlin

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Funny Marriage Quotes and Wedding Sayings

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. – Paul Sweeney

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. -Mignon McLaughlin

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day. – Gene Perret

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. – Andre Maurois

Funny Marriage Quotes (13)
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years – funny marriage quotes

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel – they get to know each other better. -Goethe

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. – Judith Viorst

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly. -Peter De Vries

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures. – Samuel Johnson

We don’t love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. – Jacques Maritain

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Hilarious and funny marriage quotes

Spouse: someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single. – Anonymous

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. – Anne Taylor Fleming

You don’t need to be on the same wavelength to succeed in marriage. You just need to be able to ride each other’s waves. – Toni Sciarra Poynter

My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce. -Joyce Brothers

A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason – and indeed all the sweets of life. – Joseph Addison

In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all. – Anne Sophie Swetchine

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish saying it.- Unknown

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Minion Funny marriage quotes

We hope you guys have enjoyed our funny marriage quotes collection. you can also check out our Funny Inspirational Quotes. if you want to wish your dearest once with beautiful inspirational quotes.

See also : 60 Funny Engagement and Marriage Quotes