Funny engagement and marriage quotes are the best collection of funny marriage quotes moment. engagement is the first step towards the journey of marriage. Starting from finding the perfect engagement ring to the wedding after party, there is a lot to look forward to when planning and preparing that perfect wedding day.
If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
We have here is the most beautiful collection of funny engagement and marriage quotes that you can share on that special wedding day. one of the most important things to do during this beautiful day is to bring the humor and laughter to everyone. making that engagement more fun is with the funny quotes, funny memories and speeches with best friends and family. we have here is the top 60 most funny engagement and marriage quotes to guide you in picking the most usable and efficient wedding quotes to fit your purpose.
Funny Engagement Quotes
It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out you do not go and buy a new house, but you fix the light bulb.
Now at last they were beginning chapter one of the great stories no one on earth has ever read, which goes on forever; in which every chapter is better than the one before.
You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.
After so much waiting and anticipating two hearts unite for a single beating and finds love, joy, peace, and contentment.
Engagement is not just a wearing ring, custom for two, it’s a commitment of dreams, love and feelings.
My heart to you is given or do give yours to me. We’ll lock them up together, and throw away the key.
What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.
From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter, and my arms will be your home.
My name sounds even cuter with your last name added to it.
What a catch you made for your life! Do call me in on your expenditure days. Have a happy engagement.
When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Engagement is the time when you have a clear view of how wonderful your coming life will be. So try to get the best vision of a great and wonderful future waiting for you.
We find rest in those we love, and we provide a resting place in ourselves for those who love us.
I will forever be there to laugh with you, to lift you up when you are down and to love you unconditionally through all of our adventures in life together.
Any home can be a castle when the king and queen be together with unconditional love.
Our love is like an engagement ring, it’s a precious thing. Our love together. is the kind that lasts forever.
Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.
Without you I’m nothing, with you I’m something, but together we are everything.
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.
Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.
You are not just exchanging engagement rings. You are exchanging expectations and promises.
Friend, I am sad that you took my advice too seriously. I asked you for getting into a relationship, not to devote all the time to that fatso and not have time for me. Have a happy engagement.
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.
Friend, I am with you as you say goodbye to your freedom. You have all my sympathy, but don’t expect to be near you as you take your frequent calls from your fiancé. Have a glorious engagement.
Engagement Quotes for Him
The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make – not just on your wedding day, but over and over again – and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.” – Barbara de Angelis
Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat. – Joanne Woodward
In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing. – Mignon McLaughlin
When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. – Nora Ephron
Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story. – Jennifer Smith
You are the butter to my bread, and the breath to my life. – Julia Child
I choose you. And I’ll choose you over and over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I’ll keep choosing you – Anonymous
I realized I was thinking of you, and I began to wonder how long you’d been on my mind. Then it occurred to me: Since I met you, you’ve never left. – Anonymous
I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance, a church filled with family and friends. I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for, he said one that would make me his wife.” – Anonymous
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. – Judy Garland
Funny marriage quotes
When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always”
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women. -Marion Smith
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. -H.V. Prochnow
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” -Groucho Marx
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper
Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too.-H.L. Mencken
You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!! – Bill Maher
Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn’t. -Unknown
They say love is blind…and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet. -Mae West
A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together. – James H. Boren
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. -Simone Signoret
To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.- E.W. Howe
A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries. – anonymous
Woke up in bed with a gorgeous woman, who I’m going to have lunch and the rest of my life with. – Jason Barmer
One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. -Judith Viorst
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?- Barbra Streisand
Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage. – Finnish Proverb
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. – Robert Anderson, Solitaire & Double Solitaire
Engagement Anniversary Quotes
I would like to have engraved inside every wedding band: Be kind to one another. This is the Golden Rule of marriage and the secret of making love last through the years. – Randolph Ray
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. – Sam Levenson
Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that. – Micheal Leunig
Straighten your problems out before you go to bed. That way you will wake up smiling. – Louis Fromm
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends. – Homer
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. – George Levinger
Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry. – Tom Mullen
If you have respect and consideration for one another, you’ll make it. – Mary Durso
We hope you guys have found the most Funny engagement and marriage quotes. share it with your beloved friends and family and have a great wedding and engagement party.